The Roots of Empathy: Raising Connected Kids in a Disconnected World

Vicki Johnson Author

This curated blog is a down-to-earth look at how to raise compassionate, connected kids in today’s busy, tech-filled world.

This blog series dives into the heart of what helps children grow into compassionate, resilient humans — even when life feels messy, busy, and tech-saturated. Drawing on the work of Dr. Bruce D. Perry in Born for Love, each post unpacks a different piece of the empathy puzzle, from everyday connection moments to overcoming modern distractions. Whether you’re a mom-to-be, a parent of littles, or a childcare provider, you’ll find down-to-earth insights, practical tips, and encouragement for weaving empathy-building into the real, imperfect moments of daily life.

Day 1: The Roots of Empathy-  At 2 a.m., you’re probably wondering how anyone survives this stage of parenting.
The baby is awake, the toddler is calling for “just one more story,” and you’re not sure if you’ve slept for three hours or three minutes. It feels like all you’re doing is surviving.

But here’s the truth: those quiet, tired moments — the rocking, the gentle humming, the soft hand on their back — are doing more than keeping your child calm. They are quietly shaping their capacity for empathy.  Read More

Day 2:   Serve and Return: The Brain’s Favorite Game- 

Have you ever noticed how your baby coos and waits for you to coo back, or how your toddler shows you a drawing and beams when you notice the details? These back-and-forth moments might seem simple — maybe even routine — but they’re building the architecture of your child’s brain, especially their capacity for empathy.

Dr. Bruce Perry, in Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential—and Endangered, calls this pattern of interaction “serve and return.” Just like a game of tennis, the child “serves” with a smile, sound, or gesture, and the caregiver “returns” with attention, acknowledgment, or a gentle response. Every exchange strengthens the brain circuits that allow children to understand others’ emotions and respond with care. Read More

Day 3:  The Modern Challenge to Raising Empathy-

You love your kids. You want them to grow into kind, compassionate people. But here’s the hard truth: even the most loving, well-intentioned caregivers are parenting in an environment that makes empathy harder to grow.

Dr. Bruce Perry explains that empathy doesn’t simply appear — it’s a biological potential that needs repeated, real-time, responsive interactions to develop. Just like a muscle, if the brain’s empathy circuits aren’t used, they weaken. Empathy develops best in consistent, face-to-face interactions.

And in today’s world, we’re swimming in distractions that pull us — and our children — away from those moments.  Read More

Day 4:  A Gentle Reminder for Caregivers:  Connection Matters More Than Perfection-  It’s easy to feel discouraged when life feels chaotic. Between the laundry that never seems to end, the texts you still haven’t answered, and the grocery list that keeps rewriting itself… slowing down can feel impossible.

But here’s the truth: children absorb more from moments of genuine attention than from hours of structured teaching.

You don’t need perfect conditions or an Instagram-worthy setup to build connection. Even in the mess and busyness, presence matters more than productivity.  Read More

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Categories: : Attachment, Bonding, Empathy, Resilience, Stress